End Socialism in All Its Forms!
by For Madison
Socialism, in all its forms, is Evil.
We know this now. We certainly can't have any Socialism corrupting
our health care system. But now that we know that Socialism is
Evil, we must root it out everywhere it exists.
The school system! Paid for with our tax
dollars, the free public school system is definitely socialism
at work. Let's close it down now. People who can afford to, can
send their kids to private schools. All other kids can just be
ignorant. They can sit around at home, or play in the streets,
until they're old enough to work.
Parks are definitely socialist. Paid for
and maintained with our tax dollars for public use, let's shut
them down now. Better yet, let's sell them to the highest bidders
and let the Market dictate how all that public land will be used.
Roads are socialist. They are also maintained
by tax dollars. Let's stop doing that right now. Who cares if
we can't drive on them within a couple of years? Having the roads
deteriorate is a small price to pay for rooting out socialism.
Anyway, rich people can fly wherever they need to go, and the
rest of us don't matter.
Bridges, levies, and building codes, those
are all maintained by socialism. Let's let them all go. Who cares
if houses fall down, if levies collapse, if bridges fail? That's
better than socialism!
The fire department is socialist. Let's
get rid of it, and have privately owned and run fire departments
instead. The very first fire companies were private. You paid
your money, and you got a plaque on your house that said you were
protected. If your house caught on fire, and you didn't have the
plaque, the fire company would just ignore the fire. Strangely,
houses that didn't have plaques seemed to burn down right after
the owners refused to pay the fire company for their "protection."
Let's do that again, that is such a good idea!
The police are socialist, paid for with
public money. Let's get rid of that, and have private police forces
bid for contracts in each city, county, and as a replacement for
the highway patrol. Private companies can hire people and call
them policemen, we can close the state Police Academies that train
police "To Protect and to Serve," because privately
paid policemen are better, because they're not socialist! Yup,
I'd sure like to call those people to my house when I'm in trouble!
Cheap thugs for police! What a great idea.
The Justice System is socialist. It, too,
is paid for by our tax dollars. Let's take all the judges, all
the district attorneys, all the public defenders, off the state
payroll. People can hire judges privately if they need a case
settled. Or, they can just hire some thugs to go "police"
the people who are opposing them. That is the beauty of the marketplace!
Money settles everything for the best! (If you're the one that
has the money).
Taking socialism out of our health care
system was a great idea right from the start. Why should we be
able to go the doctor, the way we can send our kids to school,
for free, and whenever we want to? Who cares that we're the only
country in the world that allows a for-profit health insurance
industry! Just like the school system, and the parks, and fire
department, and the police, and the roads, and the justice system,
our health care system is much better off, because there's no
socialism in it at all!
Congress used to be socialist, but, thank
heaven, it isn't anymore. It used to be run by the people for
the public good, but now wealthy donors support Congress peoples'
re-elections, and millions upon millions of dollars in lobbyists
(five per Congress person!) and donations have made sure that
Congress isn't socialist anymore. And that's why our health care
system is not going to be tainted by socialism either, thank the